Separation Anxiety

Or separation hate. Or separation stress disorder. You can call it whatever you want to. The meanings are the same (to me.)

The meanings are clear and straight forward. When you're with the one you love, everything is great. The planets are aligned. But in the back of your head there is but one thought, "he's going to leave soon." And as much as you try to gear yourself up for this event, it never helps.

Because as soon as he leaves, your world crashes. Great heaving sobs come out of you. You feel ridiculous because you have never been this emotional before. You hate it. But at the same time you think, "isn't this a form of knowing that this is the person for you?" As much as you try to talk yourself out of this feeling, nothing helps. You can come up with a million reasons why you shouldn't feel this way, but none of them make sense to your emotions, or your heart.

Remember that old saying that goes, "absense makes the heart grow fonder?" I'd llike to amend that to, "absense makes the heart break and (yes i love you more than ever)" That's what they meant to say.

The tears fall harder this time. A little longer. And all you can do is count down till the next time he comes. It's all the more harder if you don't know when that will be.

All you can do is remind yourself that it is worth it. And that one day there will be no more anxiety, no more hate. Just the two of you. With no thought of separation.